Deliberate Decision Making: Strengthening Relationships One Decision at a Time 

When two individuals come together to build a life, they embark on a journey filled with countless decisions. From the mundane daily choices to the significant life-altering ones, decision making becomes a cornerstone of the partnership. However, navigating these decisions can sometimes be challenging, leading to strain on the relationship. That’s where Deliberate Decision Making (DDM) steps in, offering tools and services to support couples in making conscious choices that align with their shared goals and values. 

Understanding the Complexity of Decision Making in Relationships 

Building a life together involves a multitude of decisions, ranging from financial matters to family planning and creating lasting memories. While many decisions may seem straightforward, others require deeper contemplation and discussion. These decisions reflect the individual aspirations, values, fears, and aspirations of each partner, making it crucial to navigate them with care and consideration. 

The Role of Deliberate Decision Making 

Deliberate Decision Making recognizes that decision making is a complex interplay of emotions, desires, thoughts, and circumstances. It provides a framework for couples to engage in meaningful communication, understand trade-offs, and navigate through conflicting priorities. DDM tools assist the client in making their own best decision considering their values and situation. Whether through self study and using the digital tools as an individual and couple or through working with a consultant. The client is guided through pathways that improve their own decision making process by exploring their own values and thinking around a subject. By utilizing DDM tools and services, couples can: 

• Understand Value Structures: Each individual brings their unique value structure to the relationship. DDM helps couples understand and reconcile differences in their value systems, fostering empathy and mutual respect. 

• Enhance Communication: Effective communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. DDM supports couples gaining skill in articulating their needs and values through demonstrating their value structures fostering mutual understanding and satisfaction.  With value structures made clear, the couple can deepen their understanding and communication. 

• Navigate Trade-Offs: Every decision involves trade-offs. DDM helps couples identify their individual aspirations and values, facilitating the creation of a shared vision that reflects both partners’ priorities.  Derived from each individual value structure, a tradeoffs can support the development of commitment to a solution 

• Navigate Emotional Complexity: Emotions play a significant role in decision making. DDM provides strategies for managing emotions effectively, preventing negative emotions from derailing the decision-making process. 

How DDM Tools Support Decision Making 

DDM offers various tools and services to support couples in their decision-making journey: 

1. QuickSTEPs : For daily decisions, QuickSTEPs provides a structured approach to evaluating options and making choices that align with shared goals. This tool is the easiest to learn, and the quickest to use on a daily basis, helping a user make a decision in just a few minutes. It is practically helpful in the following situations:
   • The subject is well known to the person and is part of their daily routine, such as what to wear, where to eat lunch, etc.
   • There is a list of candidates available, whether that is restaurants, sweaters, etc
   • Time pressure does not allow for prolonged examination of the options
   • Low motivation or distracted environment makes it difficult to make a full decision
   • 3 Examples of QuickSTEPs for Everyday Life
     • Picking what to wear
     • Deciding where to have dinner
     • Choosing to go to the gym

2. DIY Pathway: The DIY Pathway guides couples through the decision-making process, helping them identify their priorities, explore options, and make informed choices. 
   • Vacation Planning
     • When I’m planning a vacation with my partner, help me to access travel planning tools and destination guides, so that I can choose a trip that aligns with both our preferences and interests. 
   • Financial Goals
     • When I’m discussing financial goals with my partner, help me to access budgeting apps or financial planning resources, so that we can work together to manage our finances and plan for our future. 
   • Shared Hobbies Together
     • When I’m exploring options for shared hobbies or activities, help me to find classes or clubs that interest both of us, so that we can spend quality time together and strengthen our bond. 
   • Conflict Resolution
     • When I’m navigating conflicts or disagreements with my partner, help me to access relationship counseling or communication tools, so that we can address issues constructively and strengthen our relationship. 
   • House hunting
     • When I’m considering moving in together or finding a new place, help me to access resources for house-hunting and understanding lease agreements, so that we can make a well-informed decision about our living situation. 
   • Celebration Planning
     • When I’m planning special occasions or celebrations, help me to discover ideas for thoughtful gifts or romantic gestures, so that I can show appreciation and celebrate milestones together. 
   • Having Children
     • When I’m discussing family planning or considering having children, help me to access parenting resources or classes, so that we can prepare for this important life transition together. 
   • Schedule Coordination
     • When I’m managing time and responsibilities in our relationship, help me to utilize shared calendar apps or task management tools, so that we can coordinate our schedules and responsibilities efficiently. 
   • Building Intimacy Activities
     • When I’m exploring ways to maintain intimacy and connection, help me to find resources for relationship-building activities or intimacy workshops, so that we can deepen our emotional bond. 
   • Decision Making Guidance
     • When I’m considering long-term commitments or milestones in our relationship, help me to access resources for couples’ counseling or premarital guidance, so that we can navigate important decisions together and strengthen our commitment. 

3. 20 Minute Decision for Partners: When time is important, our teleconsulting service provides rapid decision conclusions.  Results in a deeper understanding of the motivations of each individual and a path forward in creating an outcome that is desirable for both. 
   • Decision to Have Children
   • Financial Decisions
   • Major Purchases
   • End-of-Life Care Planning
   • Infidelity and Trust Issues
   • Division of Household Responsibilities
   • Decision to Separate or Divorce

4. Patterns for Partners: Each individual has their own unique ways of deciding.  By discovering a persons advancing pattern, the individual and partner know how they best accomplish getting a result.  Understand what was the cause of past failures and minimize the likelihood of future failures  This is powerful bringing together to work together or support each other as each attains life results. 
   • Pattern of failed relationships
   • Pattern of chronic conflict

Different Types of Partnerships 

DDM acknowledges that every partnership is unique, with its own dynamics and challenges. Whether partners share a joined outcome or have distinct priorities, DDM provides tailored support to help couples navigate their decision-making journey effectively. 

Conclusion 

Building a life together is a journey filled with choices, challenges, and opportunities. Deliberate Decision Making offers couples the tools and support they need to navigate these decisions consciously and collaboratively. By fostering effective communication, understanding trade-offs, and navigating emotional complexity, DDM strengthens relationships and empowers couples to build a life that reflects their shared values and aspirations.