When two individuals come together to build a life, they embark on a journey filled with countless decisions. From the mundane daily choices to the significant life-altering ones, decision making becomes a cornerstone of the partnership. However, navigating these decisions can sometimes be challenging, leading to strain on the relationship. That’s where Deliberate Decision Making (DDM) steps in, offering tools and services to support couples in making conscious choices that align with their shared goals and values. 

Understanding the Complexity of Decision Making in Relationships 

Building a life together involves a multitude of decisions, ranging from financial matters to family planning and creating lasting memories. While many decisions may seem straightforward, others require deeper contemplation and discussion. These decisions reflect the individual aspirations, values, fears, and aspirations of each partner, making it crucial to navigate them with care and consideration. 

The Role of Deliberate Decision Making 

Deliberate Decision Making recognizes that decision making is a complex interplay of emotions, desires, thoughts, and circumstances. It provides a framework for couples to engage in meaningful communication, understand trade-offs, and navigate through conflicting priorities. DDM tools asssit the client in making their own best decision considering their values and situation. Whether through self study and using the digital tools as an individual and couple or through working with a consultant. The client is guided through pathways that improve their own decision making process by exploring their own values and thinking around a subject. By utilizing DDM tools and services, couples can: 

• Understand Value Structures: Each individual brings their unique value structure to the relationship. DDM helps couples understand and reconcile differences in their value systems, fostering empathy and mutual respect. 

• Enhance Communication: Effective communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. DDM supports couples gaining skill in articulating their needs and values through demonstrating their value structures fostering mutual understanding and satisfaction.  With value structures made clear, the couple can deepen their understanding and communication. 

• Navigate Trade-Offs: Every decision involves trade-offs. DDM helps couples identify their individual aspirations and values, facilitating the creation of a shared vision that reflects both partners’ priorities.  Derived from each individual value structure, a tradoffs can support the development of commitment to a solution 

• Navigate Emotional Complexity: Emotions play a significant role in decision making. DDM provides strategies for managing emotions effectively, preventing negative emotions from derailing the decision-making process. 

How DDM Tools Support Decision Making 

DDM offers various tools and services to support couples in their decision-making journey: 

QuickStep: For daily decisions, QuickStep provides a structured approach to evaluating options and making choices that align with shared goals. This tool is the easiest to learn, and the quickest to use on a daily basis, helping a user make a decision in just a few minutes. It is practically helpful in the following situations:

• The subject is well known to the person and is part of their daily routine, such as what to wear, where to eat lunch, etc.
• There is a list of candidates available, whether that is restaurants, sweaters, etc
• Time pressure does not allow for prolonged examination of the options
• Low motivation or distracted environment makes it difficult to make a full decision

Examples of QuickStep for Everyday Life

Picking what to wear

Deciding where to have dinner

Choosing to go to the gym

Learning to make better daily decisions can be learned, resulting in more time together, more involvement in life, and less conflict.